Dating-esque Advice

ONE MORE FINAL! 

Whilst I'm studying, you should go check out the dating advice guest post I wrote for Simple Serendipity :)
And I was also featured on the "Be In Style Fashion Blog"!

<3 Bri

Date Smart

{Taken by Clark Goldsberry on June 4, 2011}

Here's the sitch.

I am SO GLAD I am not in the dating scene anymore.

It was stressful, nerve-wracking, and just downright awkward most of the time.

But now being on the other side of things, it makes me cringe looking at the dating world.

You know what scares me the most though?

Is when people date out of desperation. 

Yup, you heard me. 

And if you just read that sentence and now have a pit in your stomach?

Then you just might be one of those people.

And you should probably read the rest of this post.

You know that list of traits you carry in the back of your mind? 

The ones that you expect your future spouse to have?

He has to be: funny, hard-working, loving, motivated, musically inclined, etc etc.

Everyones list is different, but you get what I'm talking about.

Well, hate to break it to you, but you aren't gonna find that perfect person.

 But one day you'll compromise some of the things on that list because you will find someone who is

perfect for you.

Though, there is such a thing as compromising TOO much.

Which happens when you are dating desperately and not dating smart.

Do you have the dream of traveling the world?

You can't do that with a husband who doesn't have the motivation to work and save money.

Do have the dream of being a stay-at-home mom?

You can't do that if your husband doesn't have the motivation to go to school in order to get a decent job. You'll have to be out working too.

Do you have the dream of following your career with the support of your loved one?

You can't do that if you have a husband who is jealous of your success.

And you may think:

"Well, isn't that a little selfish?"

And to that I say: NOPE.

You want to help lower the divorce rate in this country?

DATE SMART.

So, I'm sure you are thinking:

"But Bri, I'm *blank* years old and I still haven't found 'The One'!"

You know what I have to say to that?

Date smarter.

Because it is true, you marry who you date.

Keep your head on straight to ask yourself the crucial questions.

Because you want to know exactly the kind of person you are going to marry.

Dating Smart is:

-Discovering through the dating process whether or not his goals in life, line up with yours.

-See him in a situation where he is stressed/tired/ticked. You'll see how he reacts to stressful situations. Can you deal with that?

-See him when he is sick. Will you be able to deal with that for the rest of your life?

-How is he with money? Extra spendy? Uber frugal? Will he be upset if you spend $10 on shoes?

-Do you get along with his family? Does he get along with yours?

-Could you spend all day, every day with him?

-Does he have the same ambitions as you? 

-Does he have a similar work ethic to yours?

-Is he what you deserve?

Thoughts? Opinions? Experiences?

<3 Bri

On To the Next One!

Why does the dating world just stink nowadays?

You may ask why the heck I even care cause I'm married now. 

But that's not the point here.

I have 2 brothers and a slew of friends who are single and when I hear their dating stories it makes me cringe inside. 

Granted I've had my slew of weird/creepy dates and little flings. So I feel as if I  am allowed to write on the subject.

And these are the things I've learned through my dating adventures, having best friends being boys my whole life {and listening to all their woes}, and watching friends and siblings go through it.

Guys:

Need to stop being wimps and start asking girls out.

Girls: 

Need to stop going on dates cause they feel "obligated".

Guys:

Need to stop going for the eye candy, not saying that you should go date someone hideous. 

Just stop chasing the girls that look like plastic.

Girls:

Stop posting stupid crap on facebook like "Boys are lame" or "I hate dating!"

You aren't gonna get a date with that attitude.

Guys:

If you are shy, start small! Don't go and plan some elaborate date. 

If you are more comfortable in group dates, try that out first. 

Then once you are more comfortable and confident, start with the one on one!

Girls:

Don't do this whole "beauty on the inside" stuff.

Guys are visual beings. I know I know this is so horrible. But it's true.

Once you accept it, guys make sooo much more sense.

And finally, please let this following example NOT be you:

 Guy asks girl out, she is not really into him, but she feels obligated to go out with him just because he asked her on the date.

They go on the date, the girl is texting during the whole dinner and during mini golf while the guys is trying to strike up a conversation. 

She goes home then facebooks about how lame her night was.

WHAT THE HECK.

THEN DON'T GO ON THE FREAKING DATE.

Think about it. 

If you say no to the date, it may hurt him in the short run, but in the long run it's worth it.

You are saving both of your guys' time, his money, your extraneous time getting ready for the date, and you are ultimately saving either of you from the heartache.

And I know it's totally against everything you have been brought up to believe through the many hours spent watching Disney princess movies. 

But please. If you like the guy. Think he is cute.

Stop waiting around for him to ask you.

If he is shy, then it makes sense why he hasn't asked you out yet.

Why not you do it?

What do you have to lose?

If he says no, then fine. On to the next guy!

If he says yes, then perfect!

Top, Sweater, Pants: LOFT. Boots, Purse: Magic Step. Necklace: stolen from Mom.

And yes those are jewel tone blue corduroy pants. AWESOME SAUCE.

And here are my last thoughts:

Girls, it's a dog eat dog world out there, you want a chance? Go after it. 

Ask that nice/cute/genuine guy in your Chem class out, what do you have to lose?

 A lot of those boys don't have a clue what's going on and you gotta give him a shove in the right direction {ahem, you!}. 

 But if he is lame? On to the next one!

Guys, suck it up and ask her out. 

Do you really think this is the last/only time you will ever be rejected in your whole entire life? Nope. Get up the guts and ask her, what if you didn't and she was the one?

But, if she is lame. On to the next one!

You have to start showing off your confident self & if the guy/girl you want doesn't work out?

Pick yourself off the ground again and get out there to meet the one that's for you.

There are so many fish in the sea, so many students, so many people around you. 

Get out there and put yourself out! 

You can't just wait around in your room waiting for a guy to jump through the window asking & begging to be with you. 

{If that does ever happen call 911}

You gotta be social, cute, and most importantly yourself.

Girls, I expect you to ask some cute guy out this week.

Hustle it up!

<3 Bri