a situation in which retail therapy is necessary

Tomorrow is my first dermatologist appointment in almost a year.

Truthfully, thinking about it scares me.

Granted, I'll have Ryan with me this time. 

The first time I made my way to the cancer specialist in Salt Lake was over a year ago, and I went all by myself.

The whole office kept on asking why I didn't have my boyfriend/fiance with me?

Well, cause hhhheeellllllooooo I'm a big college girl and can do this myself.

I got some moles scraped off for testing, got my WHOLE ENTIRE body checked out {yup, every embarrassing crevice}, then promptly took my little booty over to the mall for some retail therapy.

Even when I was diagnosed with Stage 1B Melanoma, I wasn't afraid.

Mostly because I was naive.

After 12 staples on my right forearm, 9 staples under my arm to stitch up where they took out 3 lymph nodes, not being able to take care of myself for a month or so, losing 10-15 pounds {I wasn't too sad about that part! haha}, and being constantly lethargic are all things I know will happen if I were to be diagnosed again. 

I have to constantly remind myself:

"If it happens again, you are suffering now for the sake of your future family. By getting that ugly cancer out of your body you are ensuring that you will be around for your husband and future kids for years and year to come. You are gonna be around for so long they are gonna get sick of you! ;)" 

Despite psyching myself out, I'm working on being optimistic here!
Good thing I'm gonna get myself some apple pie right now.
And, I have some money saved up specifically for my 'retail therapy' needs tomorrow :) 

<3 Bri